Day 11: Prayers

     Today we were praying for Grandpa's surgery to go well. It did and I thank God for that. I was really afraid that his Alzheimer's would make it difficult for him to cope with. I'm still hit or miss with my prayers. I need set up a better routine and be disciplined. There are so many people and things that I should be praying for. I need to do much better at conversing with my Father. Still praying that I won't get sick.

Day 10: Family

    Once again, I'm thankful for my family.  My sister is sick. My aunt is sick. My mom is spending tonight and tomorrow at my grandma's so that she can be there tomorrow for Grandpa's surgery. My other sister and Dad and I went to my other grandma's house for dinner because it's Dad's birthday. Somehow, we all get along and take care of each other. I'm so tired. I'm hoping that I don't get sick next. I'm so glad that even when things get rough I can still have fun with and take care of my family. Thank you, God, so much. Now I'm going to bed.

Day 9: Gotta keep looking

     I haven't seen God yet today. I had a good day. I helped Caitlin finish the Quantum Flier and helped Mom do some work. I just haven't stopped to look at my Creator yet today. So, I will be going to do that now.

Day 8: Loving my family

     My family has been under quite a bit of stress lately. Combine that with staying up late watcing feel-good movies for escapism, and, needless to say, everyone is a little testy. It's been bothering me. Today was the same old stuff. But later my sisters and I had fun building a Quantum Flier 2037, and watched the Spiderwick Chronicles. After seeing that family, mine isn't so bad. I really am thankful for my family. I just don't like dealing with their issues sometimes - usually when I am equally tired and overstressed.
     Lord, Thank you for my family. Please help me to love them like You do. I don't like being upset and annoyed with them. I know it's not right, but I can't help it. It's my old self talking, and I don't like feeling that way. Help me to love with the love that only You can teach me, so that I don't give into my old self. Thank You for giving me a family that I can learn to love and be a part of.

Day 7: It didn't take long...

Dear God,
     I'm sorry that I didn't spend any time with you today. I say that I'm busy; I say that I'm tired; I say that I have to do something else first. Lord, it makes me so thirsty. Not having time with you gives me hunger pains somewhere deep inside. I know that you have already forgiven me. Sometimes things happen that you just can't help and I might not always see you; but today was not like that. Today I didn't give you my all. I didn't look for you that hard. And now I'm tired and internally parched. Lord, be with me tonight and tomorrow as I try to go back into your presence. I do love you. I know that I don't act like it lots of times, but I do. And I miss you when it feels like your not close by. Sorry.

Day 6: Learning from Dogs and Kids

     Tonight while I was taking the dog out, he saw something or heard something that bugged him. He got a little tense and was staring intently into the yard a few houses down watching for whatever it was. I didn't see anything. I squatted down to his level and looked in the direction he was looking but there was nothing there that I could see. While I was looking, he came over and sat between my legs. He was still watching but he started to relax. He looked up at me and licked my neck and did his little anxious foot-stomp if my hand wasn't on him. We just sat there in the moonlight for a second. I'm amazed that dogs ask for you to touch them. Every dog in my family does it. They'll sit next to you (or on you) and look back at you pleading. So you give in and pet them, but, as soon as you take your hand away, they look up at you, stomp their feet anxiously, and nuzzle your hand. When they know you love them, they don't want you to take your hand off of them. Children also are constantly wanting affection. They want to sit in your lap, hold you hand, have you pick them up and carry them around, even if they don't know a lot about you. They don't need to know very much before they start loving you and wanting you to love them back. And when it's time to leave, there are always tears because they didn't have enough time with you.
     It feels so good to have my dog come to me and sit at my feet wanting me to pet him, and to have one of my little cousins curl up in my lap just resting there and wanting to spend time with me. I can't keep my arms from hugging them. Shouldn't this be how it is with God? He loves it so much when we come to Him and rest in His arms just wanting to be with Him and feel Him love us. And shouldn't we come to Him just like children, beginning to love Him and wanting to feel Him love us back? And shouldn't there be sadness when we can't spendenough time with our Father? So many times I feel like I'm living under His shadow, trying to push through my day knowing that He's there watching and wanting this or that for me, not because He's a tyrant but because I know what He expects of me and want to do my best for Him. I need to remember to spend time with my Father just letting Him love me, resting in Him and learning to love Him back.

Day 5: Evidence

     Today was fun but busy. My grandma had put all the family photos, trinkets, recipes, files, memorabilia, newspaper clippings, and crafting supplies in her back room. You could barely walk back there. Today my aunt, mom, sister, and I helped her clean it out, or at least begin to. We began sorting through furniture and personal mementos tossing out brochures, expired coupons, and broken or useless items as we went. There were dozens of boxes of photo albums, old family documents,  and magnetic audio recordings (the kind that have magnetic tape wrapped around a spool which you hook onto the machine). It was hard for me to feel God's amongst all that distraction and busyness. It was more like seeing the evidence of Him - where he had been (or since God doesn't inhabit time...is? 0_o). A fingerprint here, a footprint there, left behind as evidence of a previous work. One box had family Bibles with bookmarks and bulletins in there pages, as well as Bible commentaries and devotionals. Some members of my family wanted to learn about God and bought those books to find out more because it was important to them. It made me feel good looking at the old bulletins and thinking about what might have happened at church that day, whether or not they knew that God was there with them. Someone had also made a book of paper between painted wood planks. Adhered to the pages were envelopes with baby announcements in them going back nearly 70 years. Someone had collected all these cards and made a book to put them in - there were "new arrival" announcements for people who had died before I was born! I got such a weird feeling looking through it. My great-grandma Hatcher had woven dozens of crosses with yarn. I don't know why she did it exactly. Was it because she loved God that much and wanted to share it? I was so young when she died that I didn't get a chance to know her that well. She gave most of them away I think. We only found a bag of ones that she was working on when she died. My great-grandpa, George Haworth, also died while I was young, but I got to know him a little bit better. He didn't go to church that often from what I hear. I'm pretty sure that he was saved, but I guess he just didn't do church that much. My mom remembers when she was very little sitting in church with Grandpa George on Sundays when he did go to church. She would play with his keychain - a silver, jointed fish. Grandma found it today and Mom took it home. She says that it's the only thing of his she's ever wanted and it's the only thing of his she has. God's fingerprints are all over my family. Whether they've seen them or not I don't know. But none of them can deny that He's been there, and I dare them to try.